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The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. bYElQ
The pie charts beneath represent the five type of common household disbursements in the provinces of Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. As meticulously mentioned in the charts, Firstly, in Malaysia housing was the greatest expenditure around 34%. while, in Japan housing accounted for merely 21%. In contrast, in Japan other goods and services consisted of majorly 29%. On contrary, this disbursement slightly decreased to 26% just two-fold down fall fraction was reported. At the same time, food was contributed to 27% in Malaysia means it occupied second large position of expenditure. However, in Japan food disbursement fell to 24%. Astonishingly, transport was quiet low rather than other things accounted just 10% in Malaysia. Oppositely, in Japan Transportation utilized by people greatly around 20%. Last though very far from least, health care expenditure reported extremely least in the both countries. However, In Japan it consist of 6% better than Malaysia due to the fact of health care disbursement experienced major downfall merely 3%. To conclude, there were myriad of changes happened in expenditures of both of the provinces. However, food, housing and other goods and services were main expenses, On contrary, in Japan transport and other goods and services represented higher fraction of disbursement rather than Malaysia.
The pie charts beneath represent the five type of common household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disbursements
in the provinces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia in the year 2010.

As
meticulously
mentioned in the charts,
Firstly
, in Malaysia housing was the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
around 34%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
housing accounted for
merely
21%.
In contrast
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services consisted of
majorly
29%. On contrary, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disbursement
slightly
decreased to 26%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two-fold down fall fraction
was reported
. At the same time, food
was contributed
to 27% in Malaysia means it occupied second large position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disbursement
fell to 24%.
Astonishingly
, transport was quiet low
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things accounted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10% in Malaysia.
Oppositely
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
Transportation utilized by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
greatly
around 20%. Last though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from least, health care
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expenditure
reported
extremely
least in the both countries.
However
, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
it
Did you mean "consists"?
consist
of 6% better than Malaysia due to the fact of health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disbursement
experienced major downfall
merely
3%.

To conclude
, there were myriad of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
happened in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditures
of both of the provinces.
However
, food, housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services were main expenses, On contrary, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services represented higher fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disbursement
rather
than Malaysia.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.