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The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below. G7Pw
The pie chart illustrates the highest level of education of women in some land in 1945 and 1995. Units are measured in percentage. Overall, a notable progress achieved by the women in some land all over the period. No schooling, third grade education, year 6 education women were about 35%, 35%, and15% in 1945 respectively. And it showed a gradual increase to be no one in the category in1995. 9 year education women were remaining same in 1945 and 1995 approximately about 10%. 12 year education women were about 4% in 1945 it rose approximately 20% 50 years later. Approximately 1% of women have complete their first degree in 1945. A significant rise can be seen in the percentage of women complete their first degree in 1995 about 50% respectively. There were hardly any women have complete their post graduate degree in 1945 but after the 50 years 20% of women able to complete their degree constantly
The pie chart illustrates the highest level of
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education
of
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women
in
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some
land in 1945 and 1995. Units
are measured
in percentage.

Overall
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "notable progress".
a notable progress
achieved by the
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women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
land all over the period.

No schooling, third grade
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education
,
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year
6
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were about 35%, 35%, and15% in 1945
respectively
. And it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a gradual increase to be no one in the category in1995.

9
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year
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were remaining same in 1945 and 1995 approximately about 10%. 12
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were about 4% in 1945 it rose approximately 20%

50 years later.

Approximately 1% of
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women
have
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complete
their
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in 1945. A significant rise can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the percentage of
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their
first
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degree
in 1995 about 50%
respectively
.

There were hardly any
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women
have
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complete
their post graduate
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degree
in 1945
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the 50 years 20% of
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women
able to
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complete
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
constantly
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the two graphs below.