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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. NqQW
The three bar charts provide information on the proportion of album buyers in three categories of music, namely pop, rock, and classical, in the United Kingdom regarding gender and age. In general, men accounted for the larger percentage in purchasing music albums of all three types, while the 25 to 34 age group contributed the biggest part to buying pop and rock CDs, and this position was switched to the oldest bracket in terms of classical tracks. More specifically, men had the highest percentage for purchasing pop albums at about 32 percent, whereas the proportion of their counterparts opting for rock CDs was the largest at around 27 percent. By contrast, classical tracks were least chosen by both sexes with nearly ten percent and six percent of men and women buying respectively. The charts take a closer look at four age brackets involved in the purchase of music albums. Pop was the most popular option among these groups with nearly 35 percent of the population selecting this music genre. The differences among various generations were quite similar between pop and rock. Meanwhile, the most noticeable distinction was in classical music where the proportion of people in the 45 plus group far exceeded the figure of the youngest group, a difference of approximately 19 percent.
The three bar charts provide information on the proportion of
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album
buyers in three categories of
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music
,
namely
pop,
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rock
, and
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classical
, in the United Kingdom regarding gender and age.

In general
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
accounted for the larger percentage in purchasing
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
albums
of all three types, while the 25 to 34 age
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group
contributed the biggest part to buying pop and
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rock
CDs, and this position
was switched
to the oldest bracket in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
.

More
specifically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had the highest percentage for purchasing pop
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albums
at about 32
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percent
, whereas the proportion of their counterparts opting for
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rock
CDs was the largest at around 27
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percent
. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
were least chosen by both sexes with
nearly
ten
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percent
and six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women buying
respectively
.

The charts take a closer look at four age brackets involved in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
albums
. Pop was the most popular option among these
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groups
with
nearly
35
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percent
of the population selecting this
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music
genre. The differences among various generations were quite similar between pop and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
. Meanwhile, the most noticeable distinction was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
where the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the 45 plus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
far exceeded the figure of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, a difference of approximately 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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