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Pie charts of ways finding out the news

Pie charts of ways finding out the news PdqJ
The two given pie charts compare the percentages of people using ways of getting news in two nations, namely Germany and Nigeria. It is clear that Nigerians use TV as a principal way to update news, which is nearly two thirds (62%), in Germany the figure is just below a third (30%). Besides, German newspaper’s reader is more than three times higher than people who read news in print in Nigeria (13%). Having an insignificantly different proportion, in Germany, radio and internet are 10% and 11% respectively. However, in Nigeria, radio overwhelms internet to become the second favorite way of accessing news, with 22%, brings it down on par with friends and family’s sources as a least commonly uses ways. Likewise, other sources are rated eventual use in Germany at 4%. The figures show an upward pattern is observed in the using tv of Nigerians mean that the percentage of other methods such as internet and other resources are lower than it in Germany.
The two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts compare the percentages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in two nations,
namely
Germany and Nigeria.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Nigerians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
TV as a principal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, which is
nearly
two thirds (62%), in Germany the figure is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below a third (30%).
Besides
, German newspaper’s reader is more than three times higher than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in print in Nigeria (13%). Having an
insignificantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
proportion, in Germany, radio and internet are 10% and 11%
respectively
.
However
, in Nigeria, radio overwhelms internet to become the second favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, with 22%, brings it down on par with friends and family’s sources as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
Likewise
, other sources
are rated
eventual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in Germany at 4%.

The figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an upward pattern
is observed
in the using
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
of Nigerians mean that the percentage of other methods such as internet and other resources are lower than it in Germany.

IELTS academic Pie charts of ways finding out the news

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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