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The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old, 41-65 years old. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old, 41-65 years old. nNLYg
The provided pie charts below shed light on five different employment statuses for people aged 17-65 in Evonia. Overall, the two older age groups show a similar trend. Furthermore, nearly three age groupings have between 10 and 100 workers in companies. The proportion of over 100 wage earners registers 39%. Then this figure decreases sharply in those two older groups, 22% and 18% respectively. Jobless people in the youngest age group account for 15%. This is higher than 8% in people aged 26-40 and 7% in the older ones. On the other hand, the percentages of people who take up business and work in companies with around 10 employees are popular in the two oldest groups, which about 21% and 28% correspondingly. While the younger ones have approximately 5% who is self-employed and 15% laborer of this age group work in a business which has a small amount of human.
The provided pie charts below shed light on five
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different
employment statuses for
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people
aged 17-65 in
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Evonia
.
Overall
, the two older
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age
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groups
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show
a similar trend.
Furthermore
,
nearly
three
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age
groupings have between 10 and 100 workers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

The proportion of over 100 wage earners registers 39%. Then this figure decreases
sharply
in those two older
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groups
, 22% and 18%
respectively
. Jobless
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people
in the youngest
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age
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group
account for 15%. This is higher than 8% in
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people
aged 26-40 and 7% in the older ones.

On the other hand
, the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take up business and work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with around 10 employees are popular in the two oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, which about 21% and 28%
correspondingly
. While the younger ones have approximately 5% who is self-employed and 15% laborer of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
work in a business which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of human.

IELTS academic The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old, 41-65 years old.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old, 41-65 years old. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant