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THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOWS THE PRODUCTION OF OLIVE OIL

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOWS THE PRODUCTION OF OLIVE OIL 9rmpx
Given is the picture illustrating the steps involved in manufacturing olive oil Overall, the process of olive oil involves seven stages, beginning with fresh olive picking and ending with storage for selling. It is a step-by-step process The process commences with ripe olive being havested from trees by farmers and then taken to a rinsing machine where raw products are washed in cold water for the sake of guaranteeing their hygiene. The next step is the smashing of clean olive after being belted with the olive stones being removed. During the smashing process, The olive is ground into paste and taken to bag with holes to preparing for pressing process. The next step is the extraction of olive oil with any excess water being separated from the oil. The last step is packaging for storage and sale.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is the picture illustrating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
involved in manufacturing olive oil

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of olive oil involves seven stages, beginning with fresh olive picking and ending with storage for selling. It is a step-by-step process

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
commences with ripe olive being
Possible spelling mistake found.
havested
from trees by farmers and then taken to a rinsing machine where raw products
are washed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
water for the sake of guaranteeing their hygiene.

The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is the smashing of clean olive after
being belted
with the olive stones
being removed
.

During the smashing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, The olive
is ground
into paste and taken to bag with holes to preparing for pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is the extraction of olive oil with any excess water
being separated
from the oil. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is packaging for storage and sale.
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IELTS academic THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOWS THE PRODUCTION OF OLIVE OIL

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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