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The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university (596971)

The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university (596971) awQ1m
The pie charts depicts the information about journal articles which was read by university students per week. It contained the categories of pupils was all students, PHD students and junior lectures in Australia. In the regard 1 to 5 articles, journal article was most popular with 67%, in all students; however it gained least popularity in junior lectures it was only 1%, and only 5% was preferred by Phd students. In contrast, only 12 % all students took interest to read 12 + articles while, phd pupils was more interested to read 12+ articles it accounted for 80% which more then 3 times fold rise experienced as compared to the junior lectures, it observed 24%. As regards 6 to 11 articles, 75% was read by junior lectures, it was 3 fold rise as compared to the all students (21%). Phd students showed least preference in these articles, was 15% in the Australia. In conclusion, journal articles gained different popularity in various students but 1 to 5 articles was unable to take interest of junior lectures.
The pie charts depicts the information about journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
which was
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read
by university
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students
per week. It contained the categories of pupils was all
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students
,
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
PHD
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students
and
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junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
in Australia.

In the regard 1 to 5
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articles
, journal
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article
was most popular with 67%, in all
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students
;
however
it gained
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
popularity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%
was preferred
by
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
Phd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12 % all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
12 +
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
while,
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
phd
pupils was more interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
12+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
it accounted for 80% which more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
3 times fold rise experienced as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
, it observed 24%. As regards 6 to 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
, 75% was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
, it was 3 fold rise as compared to the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
(21%).
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
Phd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
preference in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
, was 15% in the Australia.

In conclusion
, journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
popularity in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
1 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
was unable to take interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lectures
.

IELTS academic The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university (596971)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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