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The lines graph illustrate the numbers of a local and international student who attended universities in Australia during ten years between 2001 and 2010.

The lines graph illustrate the numbers of a local and international student who attended universities in Australia during ten years between 2001 and 2010. 2bKVM
The lines graph illustrate the numbers of a local and international student who attended universities in Australia during ten years between 2001 and 2010. Overall, the number of abroad university students in commencing and total both increases considerably. The enrolment of Australian learners also rose significantly in total, while fluctuated markedly in commencing. In total, there was a dramatic growth in the numbers of enrolments of overseas student in total. The rate of students from other countries starting their degrees in Australia rose from 20, 000 to above 80, 000 in number. Similarly, the 400, 000 inland enrolments were made in 2001 and jumped to 600, 000 in 2007, then they remained stable for 3 years. In commencing, the numbers of applications of abroad students were accepted around 10, 000 in 2001 and rose markedly to 40, 000 in 2009, then they tempered off in 2010. In the same way, around 15, 000 Australians enrolled during 2001. However, there was a plateau of around 20, 000 started from 2002 to 2010.
The lines graph illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of a local and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who attended universities in Australia during ten years between 2001 and 2010.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of abroad university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in commencing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
both increases
considerably
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of Australian learners
also
rose
significantly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
, while fluctuated
markedly
in commencing.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
, there was a dramatic growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
. The rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from other countries starting their degrees in Australia rose from 20, 000 to above 80, 000 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
Similarly
, the 400, 000 inland
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
were made
in 2001 and jumped to 600, 000 in 2007, then they remained stable for 3 years.

In commencing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of applications of abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
around 10, 000 in 2001 and rose
markedly
to 40, 000 in 2009, then they tempered off in 2010.
In the same way
, around 15, 000 Australians enrolled during 2001.
However
, there was a plateau of around 20, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 2002 to 2010.
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IELTS academic The lines graph illustrate the numbers of a local and international student who attended universities in Australia during ten years between 2001 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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