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The pie chart shows the production of agriculture in two religion in one country

The pie chart shows the production of agriculture in two religion in one country 9rAxr
The pie charts reveal the information about the percentage of agriculture products into particular areas of a nation. Overall, it is is lucid that western region emerged as a leader in the case of grain production as against others, while meat production is remained same in both areas. At a fleeting glance, it is immensely clear that the biggest trunk is taken by green with 45% in western region, where as vegetables grabs the smallest slice, accounting for merely 20% in eastern region. Moreover, 30% dairy products are produced in western area and it is more than half in the case of eastern region. In addition to this, total percentage of vegetables lie between the range of 5% and 20% in the both regions; however, meat products are similar in both areas as compare to others.
The pie charts reveal the information about the percentage of agriculture products into particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of a nation.
Overall
, it
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
lucid that western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
emerged as a leader in the case of grain production as against others, while meat production
is remained
same in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. At a fleeting glance, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the biggest trunk
is taken
by green with 45% in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
vegetables grabs the smallest slice, accounting for
merely
20% in eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
.
Moreover
, 30% dairy products
are produced
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and it is more than half in the case of eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
.
In addition
to this, total percentage of vegetables lie between the range of 5% and 20% in the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
;
however
, meat products are similar in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as compare to others.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the production of agriculture in two religion in one country

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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