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Tabel chart show leisure activity hours by different age gruop in someland

Tabel chart show leisure activity hours by different age gruop in someland j5Kmy
The assigned table chart expounds the information about hours of leisur time per year by masses in distinguish age group in someland. At the output, 1200 hours spare time was spend by teens to watching and videos. followed by, 70 plus age group invest 1100 hours this free time activity. Moreover, 30 and 70 +people socialize with 4 or less people about 300 as well as 400 hours. In contrast, 40 and 50 add member spend equal time socialize almost 250 hours. However, teens and 20 year old people recreation there 350 hours per year with 4 or more people while 52 to70 + only covey 25 hours with socializing person. Probing further, 200 hours per year contribute to individual exercise bye 30 or 48 age groups and the least time given by 60s year old. whereas teens contribute their more time in group exercise /sports almost 450 hours as compared to older people contribute 0 hours for exercise. Interestingly, teens accounted 100 hours for cinema enterprises as compared to old people respectivelyOverall, it is clear from above graph that teens show more contribute to free time activity rather than other age group.
The assigned table chart expounds the information about
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hours
of
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leisur
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time
per
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year
by masses in distinguish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
. At the output, 1200
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hours
spare
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time
was
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
by
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teens
to watching and videos.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
followed
by, 70 plus
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age
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group
invest 1100
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hours
this free
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time
activity.
Moreover
, 30 and 70 +
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
socialize with 4 or
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
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people
about 300
as well
as 400
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hours
.
In contrast
, 40 and 50
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
member spend equal
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time
socialize almost 250
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hours
.
However
,
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teens
and 20
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
recreation there 350
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hours
per
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year
with 4 or more
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people
while 52 to70 +
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
covey 25
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hours
with socializing person. Probing
further
, 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to individual exercise bye 30 or 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and the least
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time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by 60s
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
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teens
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contribute
their more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
exercise /sports almost 450
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hours
as compared to older
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
0
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hours
for exercise.
Interestingly
,
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teens
accounted 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for cinema enterprises as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelyOverall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from above graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activity
rather
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.

IELTS academic Tabel chart show leisure activity hours by different age gruop in someland

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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