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causes of poor attendance in UK schools

causes of poor attendance in UK schools KGJAL
This pie chart depicts survey results about the reasons why students do not attend schools in the UK. It is clear from the graph that there are five reasons behind the poor attendance in UK schools. According to what is shown, having both parents working is the cause with the highest percentage by about 40% of the total participants in the survey. Lack of school discipline is the most second reason behind poor attendance with 25%. Bullying and peer group pressure records the same percentage by 15% each. Less percentage with only 5% made up by the reason of upbringing. To sum up, we could say that the most given reason was the situation where both parents works.
This pie chart depicts survey results about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why students do not attend schools in the UK. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that there are five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind the poor attendance in UK schools.

According to what
is shown
, having both parents working is the cause with the highest percentage by about 40% of the total participants in the survey. Lack of school discipline is the most second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind poor attendance with 25%. Bullying and peer group pressure records the same percentage by 15% each. Less percentage with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% made up by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of upbringing. To sum up, we could say that the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
was the situation where both parents works.
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IELTS academic causes of poor attendance in UK schools

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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