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the pie chart shows the popularity of social media apps. summarize the information.

the pie chart shows the popularity of social media apps. NV570
The given pie chart represents the preferred social media platform from the year 2011, 2012 and 2013. This pie chart shows five major social media sites: facebook, Twitter, linkedln, Google+, , pinterest. According to the pie chart popularity of facebook is more as compared to other apps. As illustrated in the pie chart, it can be seen that, popularity of facebook is decreased 21% from the year of 2011 to 2013. While the fame of twitter increased from 21% to 25%, it means more and more people started using twitter. On the same note, the significance of linkdln also increased among professionals. It can be seen that people using linkdln from 10% to 15% from the year 2011 to 2013. On the similar development, Google+ also shows a moderate growth from 5% to 14%, this figure illustrate that google+ uprising with popularity among other social media platforms. That is google+ application shows a growth of total 9% from 2011-13. At the end of information in pie chart is Pinterest, which shows a very little growth in popularity, it increases from 5% to 8%. That is just 3% growth from 2011-13.
The
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given
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pie
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chart
represents the preferred social media platform from the year 2011, 2012 and 2013. This
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
five major social media sites:
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facebook
, Twitter,
Possible spelling mistake found.
linkedln
, Google+,
Two consecutive commas
,
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pinterest
. According to the
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
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popularity
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to other apps.

As illustrated in the
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
is decreased
21% from the year of 2011 to 2013. While the fame of twitter increased from 21% to 25%, it means more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using twitter. On the same note, the significance of
Possible spelling mistake found.
linkdln
also
increased among professionals. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
Possible spelling mistake found.
linkdln
from 10% to 15% from the year 2011 to 2013.

On the similar development, Google+
also
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shows
a moderate
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growth
from 5% to 14%,
The verb 'illustrate' is plural. Did you mean: "this figure illustrates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this figure illustrate
that google+ uprising with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
among other social media platforms.
That is
Consider using a past participle here: "googled".
google
+ application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of total 9% from 2011-13. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of information in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
is Pinterest, which
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shows
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
, it increases from 5% to 8%.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
from 2011-13.
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IELTS academic the pie chart shows the popularity of social media apps.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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