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Pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by local authorities

Pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by local authorities k5wAO
The three pie charts represent the payments by local authorities in three different years in Someland: 1980, 1990, 2000. According to the charts, higher education was the ultimate expense in all three years. Whereupon the other biggest payment was K-12 education. Between 1980 and 2000 K-12 Education dropped from 25 to 18%, while environmental service was slightly rose. Transportation, Health and human resources, others was fluctuated. Health had increased to 20% by 1990 before decreasing to only 10% by the end of the period. Environmental services had gradually grew from 6 to 9% between 1980 and 2000. Transportation represented to 16% in 1980 which dipped 6% in 1990 and suddenly risen in 2000 while other had decrease every 10 years.
The three pie charts represent the payments by local authorities in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
: 1980, 1990, 2000.

According to the charts, higher education was the ultimate expense in all three years. Whereupon the other biggest payment was K-12 education.

Between 1980 and 2000 K-12 Education dropped from 25 to 18%, while environmental service was
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
. Transportation, Health and human resources, others
was fluctuated
.

Health had increased to 20% by 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Environmental services had
gradually
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "grown".
grew
from 6 to 9% between 1980 and 2000.

Transportation represented to 16% in 1980 which dipped 6% in 1990 and
suddenly
risen in 2000 while other had decrease every 10 years.
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IELTS academic Pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by local authorities

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
120 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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