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The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.

The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008. jmrL
The pie chart depicts the information regarding proportion of poverty rate in women as well as bar graph illustrates the data about the rate of if but by age and sex in the USA during the year of 2008. It could be noted from the pie chart that single women suffered from the the highest number of poverty. Unmarried females without children accounted for the 54%; whereas, with child represented for 26%. And married women with and without child accounted for one fifth or 20%. Turing to bar graph, it is evident from the details that in the USA those who were under 5 they faced the highest number of poverty nearly 20%. This percentage was reduced in the adolescent age by 5%. But in the age of 18 to 24 there was a change occurred where women rate dominated to men. In this age number of females was reached to 20%; While men percentage was remained constant as earliar age group. Apart from this, from 24 to 60 age poverty was decreased in each group by almost 10 %. However, in the retiree age it was soared slightly where men had more than 5% and women accounted for under 15%. Overall, it can be inferred that in the USA single women faced more poverty as compared with married females.
The pie chart depicts the information regarding proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate in
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women
as well
as bar graph illustrates the data about the rate of if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
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age
and sex in the USA during the year of 2008.

It could
be noted
from the pie chart that single
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women
suffered from
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Unmarried females without children accounted for the 54%; whereas, with child represented for 26%. And married
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women
with and without child accounted for one fifth or 20%.

Turing to bar graph, it is evident from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
that in the USA those who were under 5 they faced the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
nearly
20%. This percentage was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the adolescent
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age
by 5%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the
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age
of 18 to 24 there was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
occurred where
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women
rate dominated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
number of females
was reached
to 20%; While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
percentage
was remained
constant as
Possible spelling mistake found.
earliar
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age
group. Apart from this, from 24 to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
was decreased
in each group by almost 10 %.
However
, in the retiree
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age
it
was soared
slightly
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had more than 5% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
accounted for under 15%.
Overall
, it can
be inferred
that in the USA single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
faced more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
as compared with married females.
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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