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The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. X2bA
The pie charts demonstrate the amount of British pupils at one university in England, those who can speak different languages beside English in the first decade of 21th century. In 2000s, British pupils who were only capable of speaking Spanish enjoyed from the most percentage with 30 percent. While 20 percent of pupils who was studying in this university knew only English. After a decade, in 2010 the number of Spanish speaker students at this university significantly grew with 35 percent. On the other hand, English speaker pupils dramatically decreased from 20 percent to ten percent. The number of students who were able to speak in just one language was considerably more than the others and it even increased in ten years.
The pie charts demonstrate the amount of British
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pupils
at one university in England, those
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who
can speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages beside English in the
first
decade of
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century.

The article is probably missing here: "In the 2000s".
In 2000s
, British
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pupils
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who
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
capable of speaking Spanish enjoyed from the most percentage with 30
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percent
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
20
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percent
of
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pupils
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who
was studying in this university knew
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
English.

After a decade, in 2010 the number of Spanish speaker students at this university
significantly
grew with 35
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percent
.
On the other hand
, English speaker
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pupils
dramatically
decreased from 20
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percent
to ten percent.

The number of students
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who
were able to speak in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one language was
considerably
more than the others and it even increased in ten years.

IELTS academic The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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