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The pie chart shows the amount spent by a school in the UK from 1981_2001

The pie chart shows the amount spent by a school in the UK from 1981_2001 alkeV
The pie chart illustrates the expenditure made on insurance, teachers' salary, furniture and equipment, resources, and other workers salary for a period of 20 years. Overall, it is seen that the highest amount was spent on teachers salary and other workers salary while the least was on insurance. In 1981, the biggest allocation was made to the school 40%, it rose gradually to half of the budget in 1991, as compared to 2001 that experienced a decrease to 45%. In contrast, other workers wages took off at 28% in 1981, a difference of 8% was seen in 1991. Whereas, less than a fifth of the proportion was spent in 2001. Furniture and equipment was bought with 1/5th of the total allocation, same amount was used in buying books in 1981. Whereas, 1991 and 2001 had 5% and 23% respectively. However, 2% of the 1981 budget was used for insurance, a slight increase of 1% seen in 1991. Finally, more than double of the value in 1991 experienced in 2001.
The pie chart illustrates the expenditure made on insurance, teachers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, furniture and equipment, resources, and other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "workers'" or "worker's"?
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for a period of 20 years.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the highest amount
was spent
on teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "workers'" or "worker's"?
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
while the least was on insurance.

In 1981, the biggest allocation
was made
to the school 40%, it rose
gradually
to half of the budget in 1991, as compared to 2001 that experienced a decrease to 45%.
In contrast
, other workers wages took off at 28% in 1981, a difference of 8% was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 1991.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, less than a fifth of the proportion
was spent
in 2001. Furniture and equipment was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with 1/5th of the total allocation, same amount was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in buying books in 1981. Whereas, 1991 and 2001 had 5% and 23%
respectively
.
However
, 2% of the 1981 budget was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for insurance, a slight increase of 1%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 1991.
Finally
, more than double of the value in 1991 experienced in 2001.

IELTS academic The pie chart shows the amount spent by a school in the UK from 1981_2001

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
169 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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