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Expenditure of Two Countries in 2010

Expenditure of Two Countries in 2010 5aXMB
The chart illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (cars, computers, books, perfumes and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling. Overall, the UK spent more money on consumer goods than France in the period given. Both the British and the French spent most of their money on cars whereas the least amount of money was spent on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France. Furthermore, the most significant difference in expenditure between two countries was on cameras. In terms of cars, people in the UK spent 450, 000 on this as opposed to the French at 400, 000. Similarly, the British expenditure was higher on books than the French (around 400, 000 and 300, 000 respectively. In the UK, expenditure on cameras (just over 350, 000) was over double that of France, which was only 150, 000. On the other hand, the amount of money paid out on the remaining goods was higher in France. Above 350, 000 was spent by the French on computer which was slightly more than the British who spent exactly 350, 000. Neither of the countries spent much on perfume which accounted for 200, 000 of expenditure in France but under 150, 000 in the UK. (204)
The chart illustrates the amount of
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money
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spent
on five consumer
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goods
(cars, computers, books, perfumes and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units
are measured
in pounds sterling.

Overall
, the UK
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spent
more
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money
on consumer
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goods
than France in the period
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given
. Both the British and the French
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spent
most of their
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money
on cars whereas the least amount of
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money
was
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spent
on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France.
Furthermore
, the most significant difference in
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expenditure
between two countries was on cameras.

In terms of cars,
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people
in the UK
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spent
450, 000 on this as opposed to the French at 400, 000.
Similarly
, the British
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expenditure
was higher on books than the French
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(
around 400, 000 and 300, 000
respectively
. In the UK,
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expenditure
on cameras (
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just
over 350, 000) was over double that of France, which was
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only
150, 000.

On the other hand
, the amount of
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money
paid out on the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
was higher in France. Above 350, 000 was
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spent
by the French on computer which was
slightly
more than the British who
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spent
exactly 350, 000. Neither of the countries
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spent
much on perfume which accounted for 200, 000 of
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expenditure
in France
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but
under 150, 000 in the UK. (204)

IELTS academic Expenditure of Two Countries in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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