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THE PIE CHART SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT A CHILREN’S CHARITY LOCATED IN THE USA SPENT AND RECEIVED IN ONE YEAR,2016.

THE PIE CHART SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT A CHILREN’S CHARITY LOCATED IN THE USA SPENT AND RECEIVED IN ONE YEAR, 2016. joXlX
The given circle diagram shows the total amount of money which includes various sources of income as well as expenditures of a children’s charity which in USA. The following statistical information is drawn from the year 2016. Overall, Donated food was recorded as the high source of earning whereas the government grants was noted as the source of revenue with minimum amount. On the other hand, program service was registered to be the source of maximum outgoings. Looking at the details, community contributors was listed with 85. 6% which was the highest source of earning among all. However, program revenue and other income was recorded as 2. 2% and o. 2% respectively. Income from government grant and investment was same i. e. 0. 2%, the lowest source income. In a word, the total revenue was recorded was $53561580.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
circle diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the total amount of money which includes various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
as well
as expenditures of a children’s charity which
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. The following statistical information
is drawn
from the year 2016.

Overall
, Donated food
was recorded
as the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of earning whereas the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants
was noted
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of revenue with minimum amount.
On the other hand
, program service
was registered
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of maximum outgoings.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, community contributors
was listed
with 85. 6% which was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of earning among all.
However
, program revenue and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was recorded
as 2. 2% and o. 2%
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Income
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grant and investment was same
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
0. 2%, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
. In a word, the total revenue
was recorded
was $53561580.
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IELTS academic THE PIE CHART SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT A CHILREN’S CHARITY LOCATED IN THE USA SPENT AND RECEIVED IN ONE YEAR, 2016.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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