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the pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in USA spent and received in one year

the pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in USA spent and received in one year ddA6
The two pie charts illustrate how a children’s charity situated in USA spent money in a year. Overall, it can be seen that donated food comprised the biggest slice of revenue sources, while both investment income and government grants were the lowest part of chart. In comparison, program services were the most significant expenditures, while management and general consisted the smallest segment of chart. Donated food and program services as the largest part accounted for 86. 6% and 95. 8% of given all money respectively. Community contributions comprised around one-tenth of the chart. The segments of program revenue and other income generated a little much than 2% and 0. 4% of the chart respectively.
The two pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
illustrate how a children’s charity situated
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
spent money in a year.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that donated food comprised the biggest slice of revenue sources, while both investment income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants were the lowest part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
.
In comparison
, program services were the most significant expenditures, while management and general consisted the smallest segment of chart.

Donated food and program services as the largest part accounted for 86. 6% and 95. 8% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
all money
respectively
. Community contributions comprised around one-tenth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. The segments of program revenue and other income generated a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
much than 2% and 0. 4% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in USA spent and received in one year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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