Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie chart show the amount of money spent on different factors by two countries in 2005

The pie chart show the amount of money spent on different factors by two countries in 2005 Ydy05
The given pie chart illustrates that how much money(in dollar) is used on different types of subjects -housing, transportation, food, health care and other goods and services in Malaysia and Japan during 2005. As an overall trend, when all the figures are taken into consideration, it can be vividly seen that Japan spent most on other goods and services; however Malaysia did on Housing. Initally, Its very clear when we look at the chrat that Japan is spending most of its money on other goods and services(29%), Whereas for Malaysia its only (26%). Japan and Malaysia expenditure on housing was (21%) and (34%) respectively. Japan consumed (3%) less food then of Malaysia which is (27%). Moreover As we move further we can check that More money was depleted by Japan on Health care (6%) than Malaysia which is (3%). Japan spent double the money on transportation which is 20 percent: howerver Malaysia was 10 percent.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart illustrates that how much money(in dollar) is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of subjects -housing, transportation, food, health care and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in Malaysia and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
during 2005.

As an
overall
trend, when all the figures
are taken
into consideration, it can be
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
spent most on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services;
however
Malaysia did on Housing.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Initally
, Its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
when we look at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
chrat
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is spending most of its money on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services(29%), Whereas for Malaysia its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
(26%).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia expenditure on housing was (21%) and (34%)
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
consumed (3%) less food
Did you mean "than"?
then
of Malaysia which is (27%).

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
further
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that More money
was depleted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
on Health care (6%) than Malaysia which is (3%).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
spent double the money on transportation which is 20 percent:
Possible spelling mistake found.
howerver
Malaysia was 10 percent.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The pie chart show the amount of money spent on different factors by two countries in 2005

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The pie chart show the amount of money spent on different factors by two countries in 2005