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The diagram represent how chocolate made and chocolate price divided up among those involved in the process

The diagram represent how chocolate made and chocolate price divided up among those involved in the process 5L5RV
At the first glance, coca is grinding and wasre material go down and others is transfered into coca liquir. Apart from this coca liquir is seprated in to two parts, industrial chocalte and pressing. The material is sent to the industrial choclate for prepration. Sugar and other ingrediants are added into choclate and it is make a choclate bar However, supermarket price almost one third percent adeed in the whole choclate bar but, farmer parpotion is three tenth less than the supermarket price in choclate bar. Furthermore, choclate company and tax price have only two third percentage difference in the choclate bar cost. Finally, The cost of ingrediants and over head are pinnale point about 37percent price involved into the choclate bar cost.
At the
first
glance, coca is grinding and
wasre
material go down
and others
is
transfered
into coca
liquir
. Apart from this coca
liquir
is
seprated
in to two parts, industrial
chocalte
and pressing. The material is
sent
to the industrial
choclate
for
prepration
. Sugar and other
ingrediants
are
added
into
choclate
and it is
make
a
choclate
bar

However
, supermarket
price
almost one third percent
adeed
in the whole
choclate
bar
but
, farmer
parpotion
is three tenth less than the supermarket
price
in
choclate
bar.
Furthermore
,
choclate
company
and tax
price
have
only
two third percentage difference in the
choclate
bar cost.
Finally
, The cost of
ingrediants
and over head are
pinnale
point about 37percent
price
involved into the
choclate
bar cost.
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IELTS academic The diagram represent how chocolate made and chocolate price divided up among those involved in the process

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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