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The pie chart illustrates the fruits that are preferred by primary school students in New Zealand.

The pie chart illustrates the fruits that are preferred by primary school students in New Zealand. MBWEk
The pie chart illustrates the fruits that are preferred by primary school students in New Zealand. In general, it is clear that the two most popular fruits with children are bananas and strawberries. Looking the chart more closely, it can be seen that bananas are the most favorite fruit because they account for the largest proportion of the total with 34%. Besides, in New Zealand, strawberries are also preferred by primary school children. It makes up 27% of the preferences. In addition, oranges and apples are less popular with students than bananas and strawberries. They represent proportions that are almost equal. Moreover, only 7% of primary school students like peaches. Finally, the least popular fruit is kiwi with 3% of the total.
The pie chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
that
are preferred
by primary school students in New Zealand.

In general
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the two most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
with children are bananas and strawberries.

Looking the chart more
closely
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that bananas are the most favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they account for the largest proportion of the total with 34%.
Besides
, in New Zealand, strawberries are
also
preferred by primary school children. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 27% of the preferences.

In addition
, oranges and apples are less popular with students than bananas and strawberries. They represent proportions that are almost equal.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% of primary school students like peaches.
Finally
, the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
is kiwi with 3% of the total.

IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates the fruits that are preferred by primary school students in New Zealand.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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