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people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017

people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017 kbRrW
This par graf illustrates information about what changes have media people use in 2013` 2015 and 2017? We can see from the chart` people use Television` newspapers` radio and internet. Television has a higher increase than radio or newspapers. In 2013 use Television was 79 or 80% and it was different to 2015` 2017. We can clearly see the newspapers and radio is noticeable different Television and internet. A small percentage of people use from radio only 40% in 2013. A biggest variation among media` related to internet and Television in 2017. While the newspapers decrease in proportion between 2015 and 2017. And in 2017 must people useful internet and Television and radio` newspapers less used` Especially newspapers.
This par
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graf
illustrates information about what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have media
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in 2013` 2015 and 2017? We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has a higher increase than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. In 2013
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
was 79 or 80% and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to 2015` 2017. We can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is noticeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and internet. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40% in 2013.
Use "the" with the superlative.
A
biggest variation among media` related to internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
in 2017. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
decrease in proportion between 2015 and 2017. And in 2017
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
useful internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
`
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
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IELTS academic people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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