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The pie chart illustrates the data about the expenses of UAE in 10 diverse realms the overall budget, standing at 315 billion Arab Emirates Durham.

The pie chart illustrates the data about the expenses of UAE in 10 diverse realms the overall budget, standing at 315 billion Arab Emirates Durham. Units are measured in a billion. It is concluded from the graph that the considerably more money spend on social security, while transport and industry, agriculture & employment saw by far the lowest ratio. In detail, it is evident that UAE government expended most of its money on social security, representing 100 billion AED. Strikingly, the other expenditure and debt interest show practically the same rates constitute for 23 billion. However, in health and personal social services authority spend markedly more money nearly 53 billion as opposed to education and defence which stand at 38 and 22 billion respectively. Besides that, in law and order UAE expend 17 billion, it is much more higher than transport, representing 9. Consequently, transport and housing heritage and environment are the remaining categories.
The pie chart illustrates the data about the expenses
A determiner is probably missing here: “of the UAE”.
of UAE
in 10 diverse realms the
overall
budget, standing at 315
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
Arab Emirates Durham. Units
are measured
in a billion.

It
is concluded
from the graph that the
considerably
more money spend on social security, while transport and industry, agriculture & employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
by far the lowest ratio.

In detail, it is evident that UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expended most of its money on social security, representing 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
AED.
Strikingly
, the other expenditure and debt interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
practically
the same rates constitute for 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
However
, in health and personal social services authority spend
markedly
more money
nearly
53
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
as opposed to education and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘defence’ is British English.
defence
which stand at 38 and 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
respectively
.
Besides
that, in law and order UAE expend 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, it is much
Use only “higher” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more higher
than transport, representing 9.
Consequently
, transport and housing heritage and environment are the remaining categories.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates the data about the expenses of UAE in 10 diverse realms the overall budget, standing at 315 billion Arab Emirates Durham.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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