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The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of total water consumption in several sectors, whilst the graph gives a detailed description of water used for domestic activities in Australia in the year 2004.

The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of total water consumption in several sectors, whilst the graph gives a detailed description of water used for domestic activities in Australia in the year 2004. 5LAQm
The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of total water consumption in several sectors, whilst the graph gives a detailed description of water used for domestic activities in Australia in the year 2004. Overall, it was the highest percentage of water use that was appertained to residential houses, whereas in terms of a typical household, the Australian consumed water most intensively in the bathroom as well as the garden. It can be observed that domestic water use made up nearly three-quarters of the total amount. Specifically, standing at 57%, the figure for water utilised by people living in the houses was four-times higher than the flats, at 13%. Meanwhile, commercial purposes and manufacturing ones were less water-intensive uses, accounting for around one-third for each of them. Conversely, the government offices were less dominant consumers of the water resources, at 6%, compared to a tiny 3% for other sectors. At the family level, there was a significant difference among the five mentioned activities, yet their proportions were never exceeding 30%. Not merely did showering but also watering garden place the greatest demands on water supply, at 28% and 27% respectively, which were nearly triple the lowest rate of water used for cooking. When it comes to doing the laundry, it comprised 20% which was a comparable higher figure than that for flushing toilets, at only 15%.
The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption in several sectors, whilst the graph gives a detailed description of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for domestic activities in Australia in the year 2004.

Overall
, it was the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
was appertained
to residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, whereas in terms of a typical household, the Australian consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
most
intensively
in the bathroom
as well
as the garden.

It can
be observed
that domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
made up
nearly
three-quarters of the total amount.
Specifically
, standing at 57%, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
was four-times higher than the flats, at 13%. Meanwhile, commercial purposes and manufacturing ones were less water-intensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, accounting for around one-third for each of them.
Conversely
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices were less dominant consumers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources, at 6%, compared to a tiny 3% for other sectors.

At the family level, there was a significant difference among the five mentioned activities,
yet
their proportions were never exceeding 30%. Not
merely
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "went showering".
did showering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
watering garden place the greatest demands on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply, at 28% and 27%
respectively
, which were
nearly
triple the lowest rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for cooking. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to doing the laundry, it comprised 20% which was a comparable higher figure than that for flushing toilets, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of total water consumption in several sectors, whilst the graph gives a detailed description of water used for domestic activities in Australia in the year 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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