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The pie chart illustrate difference between cycling to work and driving to work.

The pie chart illustrate difference between cycling to work and driving to work. AwR03
The pie chart shows the difference between american spending patterns for cycling and driving to work. Overall, the large group of people choose comfort on driving but more of them opt health and fitness by cycling. It can be seen, that most of people think cycling is faster than driving 12%. So percentage of people which selected health and fitness and less of them are equal 30%. And 15% of them are chosen to avoid parking problems but other people think that driving safer than cycling 11%. Moreover, 13% of american population choose cycling be cause for it not required costs. According to the second chart people are prefer driving easily overcome the distance to work. Finally 14 percent of people think that driving is faster than cycling so the same percentage of people choose driving for ease of carrying things for work.
The pie chart
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shows
the difference between
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american
spending patterns for
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cycling
and
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driving
to work.
Overall
, the large group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose comfort on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more of them opt health and fitness by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
is faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
12%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which selected health and fitness and less of them are equal 30%. And 15% of them
are chosen
to avoid parking problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
safer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
11%.
Moreover
, 13% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
american
population choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to cycle".
cycling
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
for it not required costs. According to the second chart
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people
are prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
easily
overcome the distance to work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
14 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the same percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of carrying things for work.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrate difference between cycling to work and driving to work.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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