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The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. 563lP
The pie graph illustrates data about the place of origin of people living in Australia while the table demonstrates where the people from these countries live. The pie chart shows that the majority of the Australian population was born in Australia. The table shows that most of the people live in cities and less in rural areas. The pie chart represents that the Australian born people makes up 73 percent of the population. Followed by this are people born in UK, New Zealand, China and Netherlands consists of 7%, 3%, 2%, and 1% respectively. Fourteen percent of Australian population has the birth of other countries. The table depicts that more than 80 percent of population born in these countries lives in cities. With Chinese born lives more in cities at 99 percent. While the New Zealand has lowest percentage of people living in cities at 80 percent among these countries.
The pie graph illustrates data about the place of origin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in Australia while the table demonstrates where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from these countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the majority of the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was born
in Australia.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and less in rural areas.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
pie chart represents that the Australian born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
makes
up 73
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Followed by this are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born in UK, New Zealand, China and Netherlands consists of 7%, 3%, 2%, and 1%
respectively
. Fourteen
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percent
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has the birth of other countries.

The table depicts that more than 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
born in these countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. With Chinese born
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
at 99
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the New Zealand has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
at 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
among these countries.
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IELTS academic The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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