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The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010 g5Yma
The shown graph provides the information of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. As can be seen, the highest number of expenditure of France and UK on consumer goods are cars. It could be noticed that there are not big differences between cars, computers, and books of expenditure of two countries. However, when it comes to books, people in UK spend about 400, 000 pounds which is about 50, 000 pounds more than people spend for computers. It is interesting to note that expenditure of UK on cameras is over 350, 000 pounds which is little bit higher than on computers. If it compares with expenditure of France on cameras, people spend 150, 000 pounds which is less than half of UK. The smallest number of expenditure of both countries are perfume.
The shown graph provides the information of two countries on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in 2010. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of France and UK on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are cars.

It could
be noticed
that there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
differences between cars, computers, and books of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of two countries.
However
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to books,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in UK spend about 400, 000 pounds which is about 50, 000 pounds more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend for computers.

It is interesting to note that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of UK on cameras is over 350, 000 pounds which is
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
higher than on computers. If it compares with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of France on cameras,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend 150, 000 pounds which is less than half of UK. The smallest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of both countries are perfume.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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