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The pie chart gives data on husehold income distribution in a month

The pie chart gives data on husehold income distribution in a month QRgQ3
The presented chart shows the information about how to distribute the household income in a month. Ar first sight, it can be clearly seen that the majority of the monet, which is earned by a family, is spent for food. By contrast, the minority of it is used for power such as electricity, gas and so on. It should be emphasised that moreover, the second highest is the money which is paid for education. It is obvious in the graph that the salary eraned is spent for food at a fifth. On the contrary, it is distributed for power with on in twenty. When it comes to education, less than a quarter of the salary is distributed for it. Another interesting point is that less than a fifth is saved for the saving and a minority is for clothes. Nevertheless, you can see in the graph that also a minority is kept for transport. In brief, in turns of the remaining income is kept for other things with 8 per cent.
The presented chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about how to distribute the household income in a month. Ar
first
sight, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the majority of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
monet
, which
is earned
by a family,
is spent
for food. By contrast, the minority of it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for power such as electricity, gas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
that
moreover
, the second highest is the money which
is paid
for education. It is obvious in the graph that the salary
Possible spelling mistake found.
eraned
is spent
for food at a fifth.
On the contrary
, it
is distributed
for power with on in twenty. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to education, less than a quarter of the salary
is distributed
for it. Another interesting point is that less than a fifth
is saved
for the saving and a minority is for clothes.
Nevertheless
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the graph that
also
a minority is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for transport.
In brief
, in turns of the remaining income is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for other things with 8 per cent.
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IELTS academic The pie chart gives data on husehold income distribution in a month

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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