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The pie chart explains the percentage of what are Anthropologists do when they’ve graduated from one university.

The pie chart explains the percentage of what are Anthropologists do when they’ve graduated from one university. 1nGxA
The pie chart explains the percentage of what are Anthropologists do when they’ve graduated from one university. In addition, the table describes the amounts of salaries they gain after 5 years. Overall, as can be seen, most of the anthropologists have a full-time job or a part-time job with reasonable salaries. Also, only a few numbers of them studying as postgrad students besides working in a part-time job. In addition, the number of unemployed and postgrad students are similar. Thus, most of anthropology graduated has job and their salaries are between $25000 to $10000 in three various of occupations. The pie chart shows various types of destinations, which are most popular between Anthropologists. The chart separated to 6 parts included full-time work, part-time work, full-time postgrad study, unemployed, part-time job + postgrad study and not known. It is clear full-time work is about 52% and occupied more than half of pie chart. Furthermore, part-time job and unemployed are more than other parts with 15% and 12% respectively. Finally, only 5% of them do both working and studying at the same time. The table describes the types of employments and amounts of salaries after 5 years. The types of work contained freelancer consultants, government sector and private companies. The amounts of salaries are from $25000 to more than $100000 per year. First, highest salaries are for anthropologists who are working in government sector and 50% of them work there, gain more than $100000 every year, also about 40% persons who works as freelancer consultant has same salary, and 40% of them have through $75000 to $99999 per year. The lowest salaries for about 5%, 5% and 10% worker that works for government sector, freelancer consultant and private companies in order, they are only gain $25000 to $49999 per year.
The pie
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the percentage of what are Anthropologists do when they’ve graduated from one university.
In addition
, the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
they gain after 5 years.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, most of the anthropologists have a full-time
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job
or a part-time
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job
with reasonable
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salaries
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few numbers of them studying as
Possible spelling mistake found.
postgrad
students
besides
working in a part-time
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job
.
In addition
, the number of unemployed and
Possible spelling mistake found.
postgrad
students are similar.
Thus
,
Consider using "most anthropology" or "most of the anthropology".
most of anthropology
graduated has
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job
and their
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salaries
are between $25000 to $10000 in three various of occupations.

The pie
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
various types of destinations, which are most popular between Anthropologists. The
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chart
separated to 6 parts included full-time
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work
, part-time
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work
, full-time
Possible spelling mistake found.
postgrad
study, unemployed, part-time
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job
+
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postgrad
study and not known. It is
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clear
full-time
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work
is about 52% and occupied more than half of pie
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chart
.
Furthermore
, part-time
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job
and unemployed are more than other parts with 15% and 12%
respectively
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of them do both working and studying at the same time.

The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the types of employments and amounts of
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salaries
after 5 years. The types of
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work
contained freelancer consultants,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector and private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
amounts of
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salaries
are from $25000 to more than $100000 per
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year
.
First
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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salaries
are for anthropologists who are working in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector and 50% of them
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work
there, gain more than $100000 every
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year
,
also
about 40% persons who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'persons' should be used.
works
as freelancer consultant has same
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salary
, and 40% of them have through $75000 to $99999 per
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year
. The lowest
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salaries
for about 5%, 5% and 10% worker that works for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector, freelancer consultant and private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in order, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gain $25000 to $49999 per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The pie chart explains the percentage of what are Anthropologists do when they’ve graduated from one university.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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