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The pie chart compares the percentages of five different aged people who visit the local cinema.

The pie chart compares the percentages of five different aged people who visit the local cinema. kY9XM
Looking at the pie chart it is clear that the 35-54 aged visitors are the most popular, while people who almost do not watch are kids and teenagers. Looking at the details we can mentioned that 51% of people who go to the local cinema are adult and old generation because for them it is more fascinating to spare time like this. However, due to some changes in society children and teens who are turned between 5-14 do not prefer to have lazy time. With respect to other blocks of pie chart, we can understand that people who are 55 and 15 to 24 are in the second position in statistics by getting 16% equally. Nevertheless, we have also one point that is 25-34 aged people who get 12% that is 4% lower than other two categories.
Looking at the pie chart it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the 35-54 aged visitors are the most popular, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
almost do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
are kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
we can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "mention"
mentioned
that 51% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to the local cinema are adult and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for them it is more fascinating to spare time like this.
However
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in society children and teens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are turned
between 5-14 do not prefer to have lazy time.

With respect to other blocks of pie chart, we can understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are 55 and 15 to 24 are in the second position in statistics by getting 16%
equally
.
Nevertheless
, we have
also
one point
that is
25-34 aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
12%
that is
4% lower than other two categories.

IELTS academic The pie chart compares the percentages of five different aged people who visit the local cinema.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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