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the pie chart below shows the source of complaints about the bank in america, the bar chart provides the average time to address the complaints from investigation data from 2000 to 2004.

the pie chart below shows the source of complaints about the bank in america, the bar chart provides the average time to address the complaints from investigation data from 2000 to 2004. Or9Bd
The pie chart illustrates the different origins of grumbling about the bank in America while the bar chart gives the time average when actions were taken to solve the problems from 200-2004. Overall, the highest complaints came from the public whereas the actions taken increased in the 6th month of 2001. Americans were worried about the banks and most of the complaints came from the public with 68%, followed by the government agencies and the out of state having 11% and 10% respectively though 8% of the insurance companies also show their concerns while the least of worries came from the media, bank employees and others having 3%, 3%, 2% separately. In the bar chart, in 2000 the actions taken began in the 5th month and increased to the 6th month of 2001, while in 2002-2004 actions slowly begin to decrease by a month each.
The pie chart illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
origins of grumbling about the bank in America while the bar chart gives the time average when actions
were taken
to solve the problems from 200-2004.

Overall
, the highest complaints came from the public whereas the actions taken increased in the 6th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of 2001.

Americans
were worried
about the banks and most of the complaints came from the public with 68%, followed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies and the
Did you mean "out-of-state"?
out of state
having 11% and 10%
respectively
though 8% of the insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their concerns while the least of worries came from the media, bank employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
having 3%, 3%, 2%
separately
.

In the bar chart, in 2000 the actions taken began in the 5th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
and increased to the 6th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of 2001, while in 2002-2004 actions
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decrease by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
each.
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IELTS academic the pie chart below shows the source of complaints about the bank in america, the bar chart provides the average time to address the complaints from investigation data from 2000 to 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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