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The pie chart below shows the frequency of Us adults online purchasing habits in 2015 ,while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

The pie chart below shows the frequency of Us adults online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences. LjyK
Overall, the large proportion of less often were not interested in online shopping and less frequent online shoppers use physical stores for shopping. In detail, less often accounted for37% of US adults who shop online, followed by a few time in a month at 28%. 20% US adults were never shop online and only a fifth US adults shop online weekly. According to the bar chart, only weekly online shoppers were use internet for shopping, accounting for 60% and this proportion 20% more than monthly online shoppers (40%). All online shopping buy online were just over 30% and this proportion twice as much as buy in physical stores (60%).
Overall
, the large proportion of less
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'were'.
often were
not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and less frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
physical stores for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. In detail, less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
accounted for37% of US adults who shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, followed by a
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
in a month at 28%. 20% US adults were never
Consider using a past participle here: "shopped".
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a fifth US adults shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
weekly. According to the bar chart,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, accounting for 60% and this proportion 20% more than monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers (40%). All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30% and this proportion twice as much as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in physical stores (60%).

IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the frequency of Us adults online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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