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THE PIE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ONLINE SHOPPING FOR RETAIL SECTOR IN NEW ZEALAND IN 2003 AND 2013.

THE PIE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ONLINE SHOPPING FOR RETAIL SECTOR IN NEW ZEALAND IN 2003 AND 2013. nx6En
THE PROVIDED PIE CHART COMPARES THE EXPENDITURE BY THE PEOPLE OF NEW ZEALAND ON VARIOUS COMMODITIES IN ONE DECADE FROM 2003 TO 2013. OVERALL, THE SELLING OF BOOKS AND FILMS INCREASES WHEREAS, THE EXPENDITURE ON TARVEL AND CLOTHES FALL IN GIVEN PERIOD. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, THE PERCENTAGE OF SPENDING ON TRAVELLING IN FORMER YEARS IS ACCOUNTED FOR MORE THAN ONE THIRD OF TOTAL AND IT DECLINES TO 29% IN LATTER PERIOD. MEANWHILE, THE AMOUNT SPEND ON TO PURCHASES CLOTHES IS STATED AT NEAR ONE FOURTH IN 2003 WHICH, DRASTICALLY SLIPS TO 16% IN 2013. THE PIE CHART FURTHER COLLATE THAT, IN 2003, THE PROPORTION FOR SPENDING ON BOOKS IS MERELY BELOW TWO TENTH AND IT EXPERIENCED SLIGHT INCLINES BY 3% IN FINAL PERIOD. SIMILARLY, THE SPENDING ON ENTERTAINMENT SUCH AS, FILM AND MUSIC IS 21% AND IT ROSES TO EXACT 33% IN SIMILAR PERIOD.
THE PROVIDED PIE CHART COMPARES THE EXPENDITURE BY THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
OF NEW ZEALAND ON VARIOUS COMMODITIES IN ONE DECADE FROM 2003 TO 2013.

OVERALL
, THE SELLING OF BOOKS AND FILMS INCREASES WHEREAS, THE EXPENDITURE ON
Possible spelling mistake found.
TARVEL
AND CLOTHES FALL IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, THE PERCENTAGE OF SPENDING ON TRAVELLING IN FORMER YEARS
IS ACCOUNTED
FOR MORE THAN ONE THIRD OF TOTAL AND IT DECLINES TO 29% IN LATTER PERIOD. MEANWHILE, THE AMOUNT SPEND ON TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASES
CLOTHES
IS STATED
AT NEAR ONE FOURTH IN 2003 WHICH,
DRASTICALLY
SLIPS TO 16% IN 2013.

THE PIE CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT, IN 2003, THE PROPORTION FOR SPENDING ON BOOKS IS
MERELY
BELOW TWO TENTH AND IT EXPERIENCED SLIGHT INCLINES BY 3% IN FINAL PERIOD.
SIMILARLY
, THE SPENDING ON ENTERTAINMENT SUCH AS, FILM AND MUSIC IS 21% AND IT ROSES TO EXACT 33% IN SIMILAR PERIOD.
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IELTS academic THE PIE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ONLINE SHOPPING FOR RETAIL SECTOR IN NEW ZEALAND IN 2003 AND 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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