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Kilometers travelled in Europe

Kilometers travelled in Europe BLJg9
The bar chart illustrates the number of thousands of kilometres travelled by car per year in different countries in Europe. It can be seen that the number of kilometres travelled in France is slightly less than in Denmark. The number of kilometres registered in Denmark was around 13000 and it was the country with the most kilometres travelled, while Spain only marked around 9000 kilometres, and was the country with the least number of kilometers. Spain and Germany are the only countries in Europe that travel less than the average of 10000 kilometers per person by car. However they’re close to this average, the difference is very remarkable and shows a clear downward trend. Overall, we can see that there is a clear difference between all of the countriesin Europe and the use of cars, for the differences between countries were thousands of kilometers. The differences between the highest kilometer-travelled country (Denmark with 13000) and the lowest (Spain with 9000) were very drastic and really showcased the difference of terrain there is.
The bar chart illustrates the
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number
of thousands of
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kilometres
travelled by car per year in
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different
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countries
in Europe.

It can be
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seen
that the
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
travelled in France is
slightly
less than in Denmark. The
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
registered in Denmark was around 13000 and it was the
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country
with the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
travelled, while Spain
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only
marked around 9000
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kilometres
, and was the
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country
with the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of kilometers.

Spain and Germany are the
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only
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countries
in Europe that travel less than the average of 10000 kilometers per person by car.
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However
they’re close to this average, the
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difference
is
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very
remarkable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
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clear
downward trend.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
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difference
between
Consider using "all the".
all of the
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countriesin
Europe and the
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use
of cars, for the
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differences
between
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countries
were thousands of kilometers. The
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differences
between the highest kilometer-travelled
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country
(Denmark with 13000) and the lowest (Spain with 9000) were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
drastic and
really
showcased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difference
of terrain there is.
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IELTS academic Kilometers travelled in Europe

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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