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Australian Household Energy Consumption and their Greenhouse Effect

Australian Household Energy Consumption and their Greenhouse Effect gq5ba
We are going to look two pie chart. One is showinfg the austrilian household energy use and other is showing the Australian household greenhouse gas emission. First we will look them seperatly and then see how they co-realate each other. First, we can see in the household energy use chart most of the energy that is 42% is use for the heating because of the cold climate the Austrailia and that explain why only 2% of energy is use for the cooling. After the heating water heating utilise 30%, it means more the 70% of energy is use for the heating only. As we go further to the next chart we can see although heating use most of the energy it contribute only 15% in greenhouse emission. Suprinsgly refrigeration system contributes 15% in greenhouse emission which double to their energy utilisation. To sum up, If we commpare on the basis of their energy utilisation to their greenhouse effect it is clear that heating swallow up the most of the energy part but it produce he less by products which causes the greenhouse effect. Other have low energy utilisation but they contribute in greenhouse emission nearly double to their energy consumption.
We are going to look two pie
Possible agreement error. The noun 'chart' seems to be countable, so consider using: "charts".
chart
. One is
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showinfg
the
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austrilian
household
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and other is showing the Australian household
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greenhouse
gas
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emission
.
First
we will look them
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperatly
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how they
Possible spelling mistake found.
co-realate
each other.

First
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the household
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chart most of the
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energy
that is
42% is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the
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heating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate the
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Austrailia
and that
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explain
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of
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energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the cooling. After the
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heating
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
30%, it means more the 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

As we go
further
to the
next
chart we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
most of the
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energy
it
Did you mean "contributes"?
contribute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% in
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
.
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Suprinsgly
refrigeration system contributes 15% in
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greenhouse
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emission
which double to their
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energy
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
.

To sum up, If we
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commpare
on the basis of their
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energy
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
to their
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greenhouse
effect it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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heating
swallow up the most of the
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energy
part
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "produces"?
produce
he less by products which causes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
effect. Other have low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
utilisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they contribute in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
nearly
double to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption.

IELTS academic Australian Household Energy Consumption and their Greenhouse Effect

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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