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The pie chart below show the comparison of different kind of energy production of France in two years

The pie charts illustrate the precentages of five different energy resources in France for the year 1195 and 2005. Overall. Both gas and coal shared the highest energy production in France. It's clear that, in the year 1995 about 90% of energy production shared by coal, gas and petrol. When nuclear gas production reports 6. 4% all other resources shared only 4. 9%. In the year 2005, Both gas and coal reported about 60% from total production and petrol only 19. 55%. Nuclear gas and other fuels shared slightly same proportion. However, The productivity of petrol reported slight fall in 2005 compared to 1995. 29. 27% of petrol energy production dropped up to 19. 55% during this 10 year period. In addition, Nuclear and other fuels rose sharply their production in an about 5%. The main resources of coal and gas remained stabaly their contribution over the ten year.
The pie charts illustrate the
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precentages
of five
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different
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energy
resources in France for the
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year
1195 and 2005.
Overall
. Both
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gas
and coal
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shared
the highest
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energy
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production
in France. It's
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clear
that, in the
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year
1995 about 90% of
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energy
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production
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shared
by coal,
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gas
and
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petrol
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
nuclear
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gas
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production
reports 6. 4% all other resources
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shared
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only
4. 9%. In the
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year
2005, Both
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gas
and coal reported about 60% from total
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production
and
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petrol
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only
19. 55%. Nuclear
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gas
and other fuels
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shared
slightly
same proportion.

However
, The productivity of
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petrol
reported slight fall in 2005 compared to 1995. 29. 27% of
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petrol
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energy
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production
dropped up to 19. 55% during this 10
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year
period.
In addition
, Nuclear and other fuels rose
sharply
their
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production
in an about 5%. The main resources of coal and
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gas
remained
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stabaly
their contribution over the ten
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year
.

IELTS academic The pie chart below show the comparison of different kind of energy production of France in two years

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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