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The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U.S. in one year.

The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U. S. in one year. 0loWB
The given pie chart demonstrates the various models of smartphones used by advocates in the U. S yearly. The pie chart shows five kind of smartphone categories, used by lawyers in the United States in a period of one year. Overall, the general trend shows that iphone if the biggest trend in a year. At the opposite side, Android, Blackberry, Windows and various other smartphones share lower usage percentages in a period of one year. In terms of the most significant feature of the chart, the largest category of smartphones was iphone devices, accounted for 62% of the total types of phones. Additionally, the next major segment of devices used by lawyers, was Android smartphones. which showed a slightly lower usage at 20%. When added together, these two categories made up four-fifths of smartphones usage by attorneys in a year. In stark contrast, the category with the lowst percentage of use was Blackberry, accounting for a minute 5% of all other smartphones. This trend was joined by windows-based phones. representing 10%, respectively. Of particular note is that the lowest categories made up only 15% of the total smartphone's usage by attorneys-at-law.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart demonstrates the various models of smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by advocates in the U. S yearly.

The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by lawyers in the United States in a period of one year.

Overall
, the general trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
if the biggest trend in a year.

At the opposite side, Android, Blackberry, Windows and various other smartphones share lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
percentages in a period of one year.

In terms of the most significant feature of the chart, the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of smartphones was
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
devices, accounted for 62% of the total types of phones.
Additionally
, the
next
major segment of devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by lawyers, was Android smartphones.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
slightly
lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
at 20%. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
together, these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
made up four-fifths of smartphones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
by attorneys in a year.

In stark contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lowst
percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
was Blackberry, accounting for a minute 5% of all other smartphones. This trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
by windows-based phones.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
representing
10%,
respectively
.

Of particular note is that the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
made up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of the total smartphone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
by attorneys-at-law.

IELTS academic The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U. S. in one year.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
191 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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