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People buying tea and coffee in five cities in Australia

People buying tea and coffee in five cities in Australia Bgemd
This bar chart shows the results in five and five Australian cities about peoples buying tea and coffee and drinking habits. It is the graph that highest percentage because of the bar went to a café from those cities, Melbourne and Hobart. According to what is shown, that number goes to people coffee in these cities, Wire and most of people went to a café to boat ready coffee or tea. Also there is some cool boat instant coffee and the chart shows us that them more than who went to a café with a little different. To sum up we could say that, A lot of people prefer to go to Café more than about a fresh coffee or tea.
This bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the results in five and five Australian cities about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
buying tea and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and drinking habits. It is the graph that highest percentage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the bar went to a café from those cities, Melbourne and Hobart.

According to what
is shown
, that number goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in these cities, Wire and most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went to a café to boat ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cool boat instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that them more than who went to a café with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

To sum up we could say that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to go to Café more than about a fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea.
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IELTS academic People buying tea and coffee in five cities in Australia

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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