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the pie chart below illustrates how internet users aged 16+ prefer to access internet at home and at other places

the pie chart below illustrates how internet users aged 16+ prefer to access internet at home and at other places 2aGrw
The pie chart demonstrates the proportion of 16+ aged people who have access to the internet at home and at other places. As we can see from the chart, the maximum number of users have an access to the smartphone which accounts for one-third of the total users. A little less than one-third of the total users have a laptop. Internet users having a laptop are nearly one-fifth of the entire. Around 14 percent of internet users have a desktop computer. The information about the rest 4 percent of 16+ aged internet users is unknown. To sum up, the highest proportion of people prefer to have an access to a smartphone and desktop computer is the least popular of all the devices.
The pie chart demonstrates the proportion of 16+ aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have access to the internet at home and at other places.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart, the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to the smartphone which accounts for one-third of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than one-third of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
have a laptop. Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
having a laptop are
nearly
one-fifth of the entire. Around 14 percent of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
have a desktop computer. The information about the rest 4 percent of 16+ aged internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
is unknown.

To sum up, the highest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to a smartphone and desktop computer is the least popular of all the devices.
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IELTS academic the pie chart below illustrates how internet users aged 16+ prefer to access internet at home and at other places

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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