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The pie chart below gives information about the amount of revenue

The pie chart below gives information about the amount of revenue 9B1Yj
The information from the pie chart and the line graph focuses on the activity of football fans in Australia. Especially, they present the amount of revenue of fans generated for each team from 2008-2014 and the number of fans attended football matches during the same period. The one half of the chart is possessed by 3 football teams. More specifically, the 20% of the total income revenue came from Hawthorn club, and 15% of gains are brought in by Sydney Swans and Adelaide respectively. The remaining 50% of the profits is generated emanate from other Australian teams. Ιt is clear that the number of attendees in football matches has decreased both for Hawthorn and Adelaide. The first one reported about 80 thousand attendees in 2008 but 70 thousand in 2014, while the second one started with 50 thousand and the number has dropped by 10 thousand fans by 2014. Sydney Swans ‘s number of fans who watched a football match went up and down and ended up to about 50 thousand in 2014. The other teams indicate instability as well. Overall, the three most popular teams have several fans who follow them and entrain revenue to the clubs but on the other side, the club is the leading with the other teams illustrates satisfactorily results.
The information from the pie chart and the line graph focuses on the activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
fans in Australia.
Especially
, they present the amount of revenue of fans generated for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
from 2008-2014 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fans attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
matches during the same period.

The one half of the chart
is possessed
by 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
. More
specifically
, the 20% of the total income revenue came from Hawthorn club, and 15% of gains
are brought
in by Sydney Swans and Adelaide
respectively
. The remaining 50% of the profits
is generated
emanate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Australian teams.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ιt
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attendees in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
matches has decreased both for Hawthorn and Adelaide. The
first
one reported about 80 thousand attendees in 2008
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
70 thousand in 2014, while the second one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 50 thousand and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
has dropped by 10 thousand fans by 2014. Sydney Swans ‘s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fans who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
match went up and down and ended up to about 50 thousand in 2014. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
indicate instability
as well
.

Overall
, the three most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
have several fans who follow them and entrain revenue to the clubs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, the club is the leading with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
illustrates
satisfactorily
results.
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IELTS academic The pie chart below gives information about the amount of revenue

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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