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The bar chart shows consumer expenditure on five different items in two different countries in 2010.

The bar chart shows consumer expenditure on five different items in two different countries in 2010. N3gnm
The bar chart compares the amount of money spent on five various items in the UK and France in 2010. Overall, people in each country spent the greatest proportion of money on cars, whereas spending money was lowest on perfume in the UK and cameras in France. Also, the UK residents spent more money on three various items than French people in 2010. In terms of cars, the percentage of expenses in the UK was 450000 while it was £400000 in France. Similarly, the ratio of expenditure was higher on books in the UK compared to France, at 400000 and just over 300000 pound respectively. People in the UK spent just above 35 pounds on cameras, and this figure was twice as high as that of France. Out of five items, France spent the largest percentage of money on computers and perfume. The figure for spending money on computers were relatively higher in both countries, at around 375000 pound in France and £350 000 in the UK. French people had spent most on perfume which accounted for almost 20 pounds, that was slightly higher for British people about £1, 50, 000.
The bar chart compares the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five various items in the UK and France in 2010.

Overall
,
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people
in each country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the greatest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cars, whereas spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
on perfume in the UK and cameras in France.
Also
, the UK residents
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spent
more
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money
on three various items than French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2010.

In terms of cars, the percentage of expenses in the UK was 450000 while it was £400000 in France.
Similarly
, the ratio of expenditure was higher on books in the UK compared to France, at 400000 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
300000 pound
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
35 pounds
on cameras, and this figure was twice as high as that of France.

Out of five items, France
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spent
the largest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on computers and perfume. The figure for spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on computers were
relatively
higher in both countries, at around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
375000 pound
in France and £350 000 in the UK. French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
most on perfume which accounted for almost
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
20 pounds
, that was
slightly
higher for British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about £1, 50, 000.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows consumer expenditure on five different items in two different countries in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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