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The pie chart below give information about chocolate bars by market share in 2000 and 2010. The bar chart shows the advertising budget of each brand of chocolate bar. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The pie chart below give information about chocolate bars by market share in 2000 and 2010. The bar chart shows the advertising budget of each brand of chocolate bar. E3NP3
The pie chart shows a comparison of five brands in the category of chocolate bars by market share for the years 2000 and 2010. Whereas the bar chart indicates the advertising investment of these brands over the same period throughout the years. Overall, both these charts deal with the sales of the five brands, reflected by the advertising budget fluctuation. The advertising, spend showed an upward trend for most of the brands. Clearly, Venus rose its budget, which resulted in more than double the growth of its market share. At the same time, Rum Punch gradually declined its budget and as a result, its market share dropped dramatically from 21% to 8%. However, an exception to the trend is Air-Light, because even though the advertising budget slightly increased (from 3 Million dollars in 20005 to 4. 5 Million in 2010), the market share lost 1 percent. Also, Fantasy fell by 6% for ten years, while the advertising budget went up and down.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a comparison of five
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brands
in the category of chocolate bars by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
for the years 2000 and 2010.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the bar chart indicates the advertising investment of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
over the same period throughout the years.
Overall
, both these charts deal with the sales of the five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, reflected by the advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
fluctuation.

The advertising, spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
.
Clearly
, Venus rose its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
, which resulted in more than double the growth of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
. At the same time, Rum Punch
gradually
declined its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and
as a result
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
dropped
dramatically
from 21% to 8%.

However
, an exception to the trend is Air-Light,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even though
the advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
slightly
increased (from 3 Million dollars in 20005 to 4. 5 Million in 2010), the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
lost 1 percent.
Also
, Fantasy fell by 6% for ten years, while the advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
went up and down.
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IELTS academic The pie chart below give information about chocolate bars by market share in 2000 and 2010. The bar chart shows the advertising budget of each brand of chocolate bar.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie chart below give information about chocolate bars by market share in 2000 and 2010. The bar chart shows the advertising budget of each brand of chocolate bar. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.