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The pictures below show the plan of Walton Museum in 2008 and the plan in 2012, after it was redeveloped. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pictures below show the plan of Walton Museum in 2008 and the plan in 2012, after it was redeveloped. kklN
The given map illustrates the plan of the place of the historical thing named as Walton museum in 2008 and after renovation in 2012. In the year 2008, after entering there was a reception and next to its reading room situated there and below it cloakroom was constructed afterwards stairs, shop and special exhibition room nearer to each other. Turning to 2012 dynamic changes have taken place as there is roof situated in the entrance hall and special exhibition hall is constant at its place, however, a restaurant newly built and recently reception and cloakroom were merged but there was no change in a shop. Therefore, a tomb-like structure made newly as like on the ground floor there was a play area for offsprings and reading room on above of it and on the top of it there was exhibition room and lift service offered to the public. At a glance of it, it can be seen that whole over the development of a place has shown dynamic changes within 4 years. Overall, except for the special exhibition room and the shop, the rest of the South Wing saw a major transformation.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
map illustrates the plan of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of the historical thing named as Walton museum in 2008 and after renovation in 2012.

In the year 2008, after entering there was a reception and
next
to its reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
situated there and below
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it cloakroom
was constructed
afterwards stairs, shop and special exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
nearer to each other.

Turning to 2012 dynamic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as there is roof situated in the entrance hall and special exhibition hall is constant at its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
however
, a restaurant
newly
built and recently reception and cloakroom
were merged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a shop.
Therefore
, a tomb-like structure made
newly
as like on the
This word is British English. Did you mean "first floor"?
ground floor
there was a play area for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
on above of it and on the top of it there was exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and lift service offered to the public.

At a glance of it, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that whole over the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has shown dynamic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
within 4 years.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the special exhibition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and the shop, the rest of the South Wing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a major transformation.

IELTS academic The pictures below show the plan of Walton Museum in 2008 and the plan in 2012, after it was redeveloped.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
192 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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