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The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020.

The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020. 0KG5
The pie charts illustrate the ages of people employed in the UK public sector during two years, 2015 and 2020. Overall, while the percentage of those employed in their 20s and 40s increased, employment for other ages groups, particularly the over 50s, fell. Turning first to the younger age groups, although the employment of workers under 21 actually fell from 14% in 2015 to 12% in 2020, the overall number of workers under 30 actually rose because of the surge in employment of 21-30 year olds, which increased significantly from 23% to 33%. Similarly, the number of employees over the age of 40 climbed from 19% in 2015 to 28% by 2020. However, other groups saw quite significant falls in employment. For 31-40 year olds, the employment figure plummeted from 21% in 2015 to just 11% by 2020, which represented a substantial drop of more than 50% in relative terms. Likewise, the employment of over 50s declined, though not by quite so much, standing at 23% in 2015 and 16% in 2020.
The pie charts illustrate the
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ages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
employed in the UK public sector during two years, 2015 and 2020.
Overall
, while the percentage of those employed in their 20s and 40s increased,
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employment
for other
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ages
groups,
particularly
the over 50s, fell.

Turning
first
to the younger
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age
groups, although the
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employment
of workers under 21 actually fell from 14% in 2015 to 12% in 2020, the
overall
number of workers under 30 actually rose
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because
of the surge in
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employment
of 21-30 year olds, which increased
significantly
from 23% to 33%.
Similarly
, the number of employees over the
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age
of 40 climbed from 19% in 2015 to 28% by 2020.

However
, other groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
quite significant falls in
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employment
. For 31-40 year olds, the
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employment
figure plummeted from 21% in 2015 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
11% by 2020, which represented a substantial drop of more than 50% in relative terms.
Likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of over 50s declined, though not by quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, standing at 23% in 2015 and 16% in 2020.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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