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The picture shows changes that increasing and decreasing of the phone calls in UK over a period from 1995 to 2002. From 1995 to 2002

The picture shows changes that increasing and decreasing of the phone calls in UK over a period from 1995 to 2002. From 1995 to 2002 NyXY0
The picture shows changes that increasing and decreasing of the phone calls in UK over a period from 1995 to 2002. From 1995 to 2002, we can see an increase in national, international and mobile phones. International telephone calls are those made between different countries. Charges for these calls were high intially but declined greatly during the XXth century due to advances in technology liberal ization. This factor is leading to an increase in national, international and mobile communications. However, we can see in this diagram that local calls increased from 1995 to 1999 and decreased from 1999 to 2002. This was due to the production of various touch phones since 1992 and the complexity of computer functions. Because, newer versions of the phone have created apps that talk face-to-face, share personal photos. Telegram, what's up, zoom, Instagram are among them. Therefore, local call rates are declining.
The picture
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shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that increasing and decreasing of the
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
in UK over a period from 1995 to 2002. From 1995 to 2002, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an increase in national, international and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. International telephone
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calls
are those made between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. Charges for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were high
Possible spelling mistake found.
intially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
declined
greatly
during the
Possible spelling mistake found.
XXth
century due to advances in technology liberal
Possible spelling mistake found.
ization
. This factor is leading to an increase in national, international and mobile communications.

However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in this diagram that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
increased from 1995 to 1999 and decreased from 1999 to 2002. This was due to the production of various touch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
since 1992 and the complexity of computer functions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, newer versions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
have created apps that talk face-to-face, share personal photos. Telegram, what's up, zoom, Instagram
The singular proper name 'Instagram' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
among them.
Therefore
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
rates are declining.
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IELTS academic The picture shows changes that increasing and decreasing of the phone calls in UK over a period from 1995 to 2002. From 1995 to 2002

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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