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The pictorial diagram depict the information about the process of making an instant noodles.

The pictorial diagram depict the information about the process of making an instant noodles. jo9qw
The pictorial diagram depict the information about the process of making an instant noodles. To commence with, noodle is made from the silos and for that large amount of silos is needed and it is transported to the production house and where it is stored in a container. Now the process begin by adding oil and water into the flour and put it in the mixer so that it completely mixed up and dough comes out on the sheet. After that, the dough on the roller passes through the machine that change its shape in strips and then in noodle discs. Next step is that the noodle disk is deep fried in oil and kept for drying. Additionally, noodle are now filled in a cup which already contain vegetable and spices. Lastly, the automatic machine will seal the cup and label it properly and delivered it to the consumer and enjoy the instant noodle.
The pictorial diagram depict the information about the process of making an instant noodles.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
is made
from the silos and for that large amount of silos
is needed
and it
is transported
to the production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and where it
is stored
in a container.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by adding oil and water into the flour and put it in the mixer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it completely mixed up and dough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out on the sheet. After that, the dough on the roller passes through the machine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
its shape in strips and then in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
discs.
Next
step is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
disk is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep fried
in oil and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for drying.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
filled in a cup which already contain vegetable and spices.
Lastly
, the automatic machine will seal the cup and label it
properly
and delivered it to the consumer and enjoy the instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
.

IELTS academic The pictorial diagram depict the information about the process of making an instant noodles.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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