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The percentage of whole world population in four countries

The percentage of whole world population in four countries 85YqB
The provided chart demonstrates the proportion of entire world population in four different nations: India, China, USA, and Japan from 1950 to 2000, with projections until 2050. Overall, it is crystal clear that the China had maximum population in the given periods, however the least population will be in Japan. To begin with, in 1950, above 25% population had been wtnessed in China which was highest as compared to other nations, while in 2000, it decreased slightly by 3%. Further, in 2050, around 19% population will be obseved there. Moreover, it is surprising fact that in previous both years, Japan had least population than other countries, while in 2050, the percentage of population will be negligible. Besides this, in 1950 and 2000, India was second top country, where the population was higher in comparison with USA and Japan except China respectively. Whereas, in 2050, it will be higher than China by 2%. Lastly, in terms of USA, in 1950, it had 10% population, on the contrary in 2000, it decreased by 2%. It is an interesting fact that in 2050, the proportion of USA's population will be remained static.
The provided chart demonstrates the proportion of entire world
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population
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations: India, China, USA, and Japan from 1950 to 2000, with projections until 2050.

Overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the China had maximum
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population
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
periods,
however
the least
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population
will be in Japan.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1950, above 25%
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population
had been
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wtnessed
in China which was highest as compared to other nations, while in 2000, it decreased
slightly
by 3%.
Further
, in 2050, around 19%
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population
will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
obseved
there.
Moreover
, it is surprising fact that in previous both years, Japan had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
than other countries, while in 2050, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will be negligible.
Besides
this, in 1950 and 2000, India was second top country, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was higher
in comparison
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the USA".
with USA
and Japan except China
respectively
. Whereas, in 2050, it will be higher than China by 2%.

Lastly
, in terms
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, in 1950, it had 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
,
on the contrary
in 2000, it decreased by 2%. It is an interesting fact that in 2050, the proportion of USA's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
be remained
static.
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IELTS academic The percentage of whole world population in four countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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