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The bar chart show the marriage and divorce for eight countries in 1981 and 1994

The bar chart show the marriage and divorce for eight countries in 1981 and 1994 OVLDp
The charts give information about wedding and separation data during 1981 & 1994 year in 9 different countries. Overall, the downward trends was about marriage happened in 1981 whereas, in 1994 the data was fluctuated in those countries. The data about separation among couples was always altered slightly in those time periods. In 1981, The number of USA couples doing marriage were about more than 10 per thousand, its trend was at peak point than the others. Meanwhile, split coupled in same country was slightly rose approximate 5 per thousand. Furthermore, from UK to Germany, the amount of wedding ceremony happened were about more than 6 per thousand, gradually declined in those data. On the contrary, In Uk the data was about more than 2 per thousand while, From Japan to Fernce, the trends fluctuating from 1 to 2 per thousand people who were disunited in those period. As a same year, the alliance of couples were about 5 per thousand, fluctuations happened with fall In Fernce, Italy and Denmark countries than the separation occurred in Italy was the lowest amount and in Denmark the trends again shot up about 2 per thousand people in whole time. In 1994, In USA, couples who were united and disunited was significantly increased than the others. From Uk to Italian couples were having together that trends were going up and downs where in divorce statices UK's couple were more than 3 per thousand and from Japan to Fernce the data was also fluctuated. Additionally Italian duo who separated was the lowest in data. Lastly, Denmark couples who were united and disunited, the data was again increased dramatically in those year.
The charts give information about wedding and separation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
during 1981 & 1994 year in 9
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Overall
, the downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
was about marriage happened in 1981 whereas, in 1994 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was fluctuated
in those countries. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
about separation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
was always altered
slightly
in those time periods.

In 1981, The number of USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
doing marriage were about more than 10 per thousand, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
was at peak point than the others. Meanwhile, split coupled in same country was
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
approximate 5 per thousand.
Furthermore
, from UK to Germany, the amount of wedding ceremony happened were about more than 6 per thousand,
gradually
declined in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
.
On the contrary
, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was about more than 2 per thousand while, From Japan to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fernce
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
fluctuating from 1 to 2 per thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were disunited
in those period. As a same year, the alliance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
were about 5 per thousand, fluctuations happened with fall In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fernce
, Italy and Denmark countries than the separation occurred in Italy was the lowest amount and in Denmark the
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trends
again shot up about 2 per thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in whole time.

In 1994, In USA,
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couples
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who
were united
and disunited was
significantly
increased than the others. From
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
to Italian
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couples
were having together that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
were going up and downs where in divorce
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "statics", the plural form of the noun 'static'?
statices
UK's
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couple
were more than 3 per thousand and from Japan to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fernce
the
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data
was
also
fluctuated.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
Italian duo
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who
separated was the lowest in
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data
.
Lastly
, Denmark
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couples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were united
and disunited, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was again increased
dramatically
in
Did you mean "this year" or "those years"?
those year
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart show the marriage and divorce for eight countries in 1981 and 1994

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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