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the percentage of water consumption for various purposes in six areas

the percentage of water consumption for various purposes in six areas 9rrJp
The pie charts below display the percentage of water consumption for various purposes. The data have been obtained from six areas. It has been known that agriculture sector became the most reason of water use in South America, Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia. Meanwhile, the other areas, namely Europe and North America, spent a great percentage of water for industrial purpose, compared to the other sectors. Three of six areas, namely Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia had consumed water for agricultural sector more than 80 percent altogether. However, whilst the rest of these areas positioned the domestic use as their second highest water expenditure, South East Asia was exposed as the area which brought industrial sector to fulfill that rank. Furthermore, both North America and Europe had a quite similar condition of the water consumption list. These areas, equally, had the lowest portion of water use for domestic purpose, specifically under 16 percent.
The pie charts below display the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption for various purposes. The data have
been obtained
from six areas.

It has
been known
that agriculture sector became the most reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in South America, Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia. Meanwhile, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
namely
Europe and North America, spent a great percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for industrial purpose, compared to the other sectors.

Three of six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
namely
Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia had consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for agricultural sector more than 80 percent altogether.
However
, whilst the rest of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
positioned the domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as their second highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
expenditure, South East Asia
was exposed
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
which brought industrial sector to fulfill that rank.

Furthermore
, both North America and Europe had a quite similar condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption list. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
equally
, had the lowest portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for domestic purpose,
specifically
under 16 percent.
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IELTS academic the percentage of water consumption for various purposes in six areas

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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